2021 was quite a year.
On top of all the seasonal celebrations (birthdays, July 4th, Thanksgiving, winter holidays), we moved, we expanded our mental health practice, the big kids all did sleep away camp for the first time, Emmett performed at Disney World, all of the kids performed in Treasure Island, we went to Hawai’i, we adopted a new puppy (Iris), Riley made his annual trip to Children’s Hospital (Nerf gun dart in the eye), Emmett officially became a teenager and got his own phone. It was b-u-s-y. We never thought that we’d be the drama type (except for Emmett, of course, who is a natural born thespian), but we realized this year that whenever someone asks us “How are things?”, we have a lot to relate. It’s not just that we have a lot on our plate. There’s always something happening to us. Each time we think, “Yes, we’ve made it to some downtime,” boom! Crazy happens to us. It happens to us. This is, at least on this first day of 2022, something we’re going to unpack so as to better understand and be better situated in 2022. Nevertheless, we’ve made the most of 2021’s opportunities, crazy or no.
How? you ask. Since we’ve not posted since June, that is, indeed, a reasonable question. In fact, we only posted 3 times in 2021. Three times! (We were in the midst of so, so much happening that we didn’t even have time to update Pig Party Nation regarding the Pig Party.) We apologize. We have been remiss.
Are we over scheduled? Perhaps. Are we just not scheduling the right things to promote peace and quiet? Maybe. Did we experience a lot of transition in 2021? Definitely. Did we push ourselves to conquer fears in 2021? Without a doubt. This last piece is the proof that we’ve not wasted our experiences.
Let us illuminate.
Exhibit A
Emmett did cosplay camp, creating a male Elsa-look for his final project. At first, he was upset that his materials and his ability to mold the materials he had weren’t enough. After a bit, Emmett came to a realization that he might not always be able to embody his finished product-whether it be literal or figurative-the way that he wants. He sees things very clearly in his mind, Emmett’s imagination is prodigious, and getting from point A to point B isn’t always feasible. Mom, however, spoke to him about a lesson there: Learn to enjoy the ride, she said, and have compassion for yourself while both recognizing and pushing your limits. It isn’t an easy lesson, and many adult struggle with it, but Emmett has firmly planted himself in the performing arts, and if he is to remain there in health and happiness, it is an important lesson to learn now. Emmett applied the lesson while tackling head on performance anxiety at Disney World. He was so joyful in the moment while performing, in fact, that he had tears of joy streaming down his face. When asked about it, he said that he was just so happy to be performing at Disney World that he couldn’t help but cry. His Beauty and the Beast performance in December benefited from finding joy in the moment, and his academic work has benefited from him being compassionate with himself. Well done, Emmett.
Exhibit B
Riley pivoted from rock climbing to archery classes in 2021 (though now he wants to start rock climbing again, go figure). This past fall, in an archery camp, Riley received great attention from the coach for his skill. Although Riley’s had a recurve bow for a while, he just recently started taking regular lessons. So, when he was told by his coach that he was a natural and that the coach would like Riley to join his JOAD team, Riley was understandably proud of himself. Riley mulled over the offer. As the week in camp wore on, however, Riley decided that although he likes archery, and although he enjoys demonstrating his abilities to the acclaim of others, he chose not to continue working with that coach after the camp came to a close. Why? At first, Mom thought that it was because the coach made Riley work hard. Riley doesn’t love doing sprints and pushups as much as he loves hitting targets. Mom looked and all of the other area JOAD teams were full. She continued to circle back around to Riley, asking him if he wanted to work with this one coach. But again and again, he said that he didn’t want to. Finally, he clarified that the coach “had a vibe” that made Riley feel uncomfortable. Riley went on to say that the coach didn’t step in when some of the campers weren’t so kind to each other or when they made fun of another camper that wasn’t such a great shot. Riley didn’t want to work with a coach that let his students think that bullying behavior was acceptable as long as they were winning. Instead of joining a JOAD team, Dad put up a target in the yard where Riley can shoot more regularly and on his own terms. Good job, Riley.
Exhibit C
Tessa loves to create art, but in 2021 she also discovered that she loves to have time to herself to art in whatever capacity she chooses. She was presented with multiple art camps this past year–week long art summer camps, sewing camps, theatrical art classes–but she said no to all of them except for one weekly, multi media art class. Instead, she’s been spending a lot of time in her room or in our new art room just creating. She made holiday decorations for the house, including intricate snowflakes and a paper string of lights; she and dad created a cocooned victim for our Halloween spider web lighting; and she made individual, personalized holiday presents and birthday presents for everyone in the house. She’s realized that her love of art doesn’t extend to doing just anything, and she’s decided that joining a camp or class means less time for her to choose her own projects. She’s chosen to take just one class to get the instruction she wants and to see what she can do with the knowledge she already possesses. That’s some great self awareness and self confidence. Create away, Tessa.
Exhibit D
Asher came a bit late to swimming. He was in weekly classes before COVID, but those were the before-times. During COVID, his swim school closed, along with the rec centers, and he took a long hiatus from the pool. When we moved to our new house, Mom got Asher signed up at the old swim school where the big kids learned their strokes. Asher, however, wasn’t as interested in being in the pool as the big kids were when they were his age. He was, in fact, afraid of the deep end. This went on for a while. The first week, he refused to go into the deep end. He told Mom that he was afraid he’d drown. Mom explained that his was a private lesson, that his teacher had no other kids to keep an eye on beside Asher, and that she was there too. The second week, Asher skipped class because our smallest kitty had gone missing, and we were canvassing the neighborhood. (See? So much happening. Thank goodness Itty-Bitty came back that second night.) The third week, Asher and Mom talked about a plan of action for him to succeed. He asked for Emmett and Tessa to come to his swim lesson with him, for them to sit on the other side of the viewing window, and for Mom to sit on the bench poolside. Done, mom said. Asher was still afraid, but with everyone there, he knew there wasn’t a chance he’d drown if he got into trouble in the deep end. So, instead of refusing, he swam his laps. And he did it again the week after. By the third lesson, he was good to go into the deep end without Mom poolside and without his siblings keeping a close watch on him. He said he was no longer afraid to go into deeper water, and he learned that leaning into the people that love him most will often help get him through something difficult. We will always be here for you, Asher.
On top of these examples, all of us have decided that we would rather no longer have big birthday parties. (By Mom’s count, our family alone has had more than 40 kid birthday parties, so we aren’t lacking in that capacity.) But we’ve decided that we would rather not have a ton of friends over to run around the house screaming for 3 hours. We decided that we would rather have meaningful experiences that we get to craft: Going to the mountains with the family, inviting a friend and her family to the movies, having a few friends come for a sleepover. Although, overall, we’ve not spent a ton of time with a ton of kids, it seems that we’ve come to recognize that being with people just to be with people isn’t very satisfying, especially in large numbers. What’s better is to spend quality time with a few close friends.
So, while we made good use of the the experiences we had in 2021, we are asking the Universe to make 2022 a bit more tame. As in, not so much chaos. We, for our part, are doing our best to make choices that support that. We are already keen not to overschedule summer 2022, we’ve planned our year’s travels and are intent to make the trips a mix of both adventure and relaxation, and we’re planning to enjoy more down time in our new home. There have already been pajama and reading days and pajama and Lego building days, all of which we’ve enjoyed. After doing so much, and moving so many times, being able to rest, relax, and rejuvenate has been wonderful. We’d like to order more of that, please.
Here’s to you 2022! We choose balance for the new year.
Pigs Out
Leave a Reply